Ramaa - Life-partner
It is
impossible not to learn somethings from one’s partner in life.
My mother
gave me life. Then came someone who gave “her life” to the family, our
family. That is Ramaa.
Sacrifice is
the value she taught. I know that she sacrificed her life’s ambition to be a
top-level surgeon, so she can be a mother and wife. I could not have
accomplished as many things as I did in my profession and the children would
not have thrived as well as they have done without her sacrifice.
On family
values, work ethics, professional values, and other matters of importance, we
were one solid unit. We had common goals and values. That required give and
take. She had her own views which she expressed with passion. She was also open
to new ideas and for discussion on important matters. That is a valuable
lesson.
She taught
me love for Nature and particularly for plants and flowers. She made me go with her to some of the
well-known flower gardens and flower shows such as Philadelphia Flower Show,
Chelsea Flower Show in London, Keukanof Gardens in Holland, Brindavan Gardens
in India, Butchart Gardens in Canada and
more.
She was a voracious reader and pushed me to widen my field of interest and to new authors. She taught the pleasures of reading good books to our children.
She loved to learn and try new things and new ways of doing things. Her usual question to children was: “Unless you open the door how do you know what is on the other side?”
One other major lesson she taught me is best expressed in her own words: “ When you do something for someone and when you make some donations, do not diminish their value by announcing them to the world”.
She taught
me the difference between “classy” and “showy” (she called it glitzy). She taught
me and the children that good quality is more important than trendy things and
brand names. She used to say that “if Nike wants me to wear a shoe advertising
their name, Nike should pay me”.
She was
quick to say “Sorry, I was wrong”. That is an important lesson. Towards the end of her life, she also said:
“I could have done a few things better; but have no regrets.”
Above all,
she taught me that a mother’s life is always one of sacrifice. How else can I
explain that an intelligent and highly motivated woman who aspired to be a
world-class surgeon, leave that goal and work in a different field (radiology) on
three days a week only so she can spend time with children on matters of
importance to their growth and development. When she was offered a full-time
work with plenty of monetary incentive, her answer was: “ You keep the money
and I keep my time”.
Some
quotes on Learning
“To know
what you do not know is the beginning” – Confucius
“As long
as you live, keep learning how to live” – Seneca
“It is
what you learn after you know it all that counts” – John W. Gardner
“Go,
learn what you need to know; then, practice what you learnt” – A Sanskrit
aphorism
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