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Saturday, October 2, 2021

Life's Lessons - Who taught me What? (15)

 Who taught me what after coming to Cokesbury?

After coming to the Cokesbury Village, two individuals influenced my thinking the most. I cannot even give the initials of these two gentlemen for privacy reasons. But I wish to write about what they taught me.

One of them is no more. He is no more because he lost the desire and the will to live. He taught me how to die gracefully. He was close to 100. His mind was sharp but, the body was worn out.  When this happens many in this age group lose their desire to live.  

I had the privilege of sitting and talking with him twice just before his death. It was a humbling experience. He spoke with calmness and assurance. There was no self-pity. He was saying “good-bye” in his own terms.

He told me that he became an atheist when he was around 23 or 24 following an accident in which he almost lost his life. Events around that accident made him realize the impermanence of life and life’s lonely fights. He had no regrets about the way he led his life. He also recommended that I read a book with the title “This Believing World” by Lewis Browne. I read it and learnt new ways of looking at religions in general.

The other gentleman is over 100 years old . He is my role model for growing old gracefully. He taught me that one way to live long with a sharp mind is to be socially involved, help as many people as possible, as many times as possible and lead an active, engaged life.

Lessons from Three Habits

Reading habit: During my five-year stay in US between 1958 and 1963, I was afraid of forgetting my mother-tongue and Sanskrit. Therefore, I made a habit of always reading one book in Tamil and one in Sanskrit throughout those five years. I am reaping the benefits now. The other reading habit was to always read one non-medical book, since so much of my time was taken up reading medical books and journals in those days. (I plan to write a series on Reading Skills soon)

Journal (diary writing) habit: This started when I was in Loyola College. I do not remember why I started it. It was not a list of what I did that day. I wrote only when something of significance ( at least what I thought at that stage in life to be significant) took place. Since my life for the first two years in Madras(college years) were stressful and unhappy, I used writing journal to express my disappointments and frustrations. I have lost most of my earlier notebooks. But I saved a few pages from the final years of medical school before coming to US. After that I have saved all my journals from the 1960’s. Some of the thoughts I have expressed in my blog site (www.timeforthought.net) are based on my daily journals (diary).

Meditation habit: I started daily meditation in early 1972 or 1973. Initially, I learnt basic ideas from my brother and later from Ramaa’s dad. I also got initiated into the TM style. But I followed my own path and inner direction. Therefore, it kept changing. But, after I attended the first week-long session with Thich Naht Hanh, it became steady.

I have meditated consistently for over 40 years now. I do both silent meditation in the Vedic style and insight meditation as in Buddhism. Meditation has been a great source of relaxation and mental stability and has helped me look deeply into myself and into events around me. Without meditation I could not have survived the year Ramaa was critically ill and the years since I  lost her.

My brother, Adi Sankara, Buddha, Ramana Maharishi, Thich Nath Hanh and Tolstoy are probably the most significant figures who influenced the direction of my meditation and spiritual journey. 

End of stories!

PS: In 2006, I shelved this project since it is self-centered.  I asked myself: “Who is going to read this anyway?” Few years back Sheela said that she wanted to interview me and make a recording.  Pranav also started interviewing and recording me. Therefore I decided to complete this and completed it on June 11, 2021. 

Thanks for your interest. Hope there were a lesson or two you found useful. 

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